ℂ𝕖𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ☘️

There are certain things that you can adore and ignore . There are certain things in life that you can do and certain things you can’t . Most of the things you might not be able to do are most probably because of time and fate . At the different point of time, our interest in something changes or even maybe you’re just fated to do it . Don’t get mad just because you are unable to do something you want and do not blame yourself for not having the capability or talent to do something.

I have a very extroverted personality . People find me very annoying, too loud, the joker, crazy because I tend to actually talk to random people and I tend to open up to people easily. I am that type of person who don’t really like the very quiet and awkward atomsphere and tend to change it to a cheerful one. With that, I totally hope to always make people smile and let people who are having a bad day not regret living. I love walking around the class and make sure most people are energised for the next lesson. I like to be very bubbly even before dance classes. Seniors most probably felt like slapping my face but because they’re very understanding people, the totally let that pass. But now, everything is just ruined .

My whole positive journey of life is just cut off like that. Due to my “effort” in dance sessions, I was very clumsy and was not cautious of my own safety that I injured my knee. I thought maybe it will only last a few days but it didn’t as it lasted longer than expected. It was true that my dancing life has ended. I was put on cast and was unable to come to school with such heavy cast on my left leg. I was so embarrassed of myself and was scared to be judged in school. There is a high possibility where people will start to call me names and a high possibility that I will have a mental break down in school. Even just me walking myself to the kitchen made me useless and hopeless. I felt so disabled when I see my friends and seniors dancing passionately. As they dance energeticly, I’m just there, sitting down, watching like an abandoned kid .

That one night, I cry my eyes out and kept asking why did I let my stupidity out like that. People say don’t say things that are negative . It does work for sometime but mostly it did not as it was hard to put my thoughts back together. The amount of time I needed to stitch back my torn feelings , to find back my missing dreams and to find a way out of this dark cave i’ve been living in is a total weight for me. I keep drowning myself into the deep sea filled with tears. I was so helpless because I was alone . I had no one else to ask for help because its between me and myself. The fear I hold to face all this is so big that I almost let my emotions swallow me.

Praises to Allah who have helped me get through this, I am finally strong enough to say that everything is in his hands. We plan, he decide. It’s after all not my fault but it’s a lesson I can learn from. Not everything you want can you receive . Unexpected things can come at the most unexpected time ever. Maybe he have seen the hardwork i’ve put in for everything and he puts me in such condition so that I can get enough rest . Everything can be planned but certain things can be expected and certain things are unexpected . ☘️

stay strong 🍃