Soon, 2019 will come to an end and here I am wanting to share some highlights or in fact thank and apologies to some people. This year wasn’t the best year for me. In fact the worst. Went from loving to hating myself and the people around me. I couldn’t forgive myself for putting myself into such things and still not realising whose worth the wait. Though so many things i’ve gone through, i’m still really grateful for all the good times that I had.First of, I would like to thank the people who have been there through my ups and downs. Yes, I have always showed up some attitude which is my fault but thank you for making me feel like a person and not an object. Truly from the bottom of my heart, I truly apologise for having you to be involved in this hell of a ride with such a person that’s so weak. Thank you for keeping your word, even when I broke mine. I really do hope that I could help you in your tough times the way you always do.
To those who have not seen this depressed ass of mine, which clearly shows who you are, I would definitely wish you good luck in your life. And if I ever show you some uninterested face, it’s you who did that to yourself. Yes, I wasn’t that cool who watches Netflix , watching the same movie series like you do. I wasn’t that pretty, having really ugly big glasses with crooked teeth. I wasn’t even that rich to be going out eating at really expensive places and only could afford to eat in school. I wasn’t even that loud or awesome to suit your clique. I wasn’t even talented after all. The only thing I could do was just accept EVERY single second of you making me feel not worth it and keep going back home and cry myself to sleep, asking “Why am I born this way?”. YOU made me feel lonely, not enough, the most sensitive and emotional people ever. And you’re ashamed for who I am? You’re no longer part of my plans no more. You said you love me but you replaced me with them. I said how’d I feel but it didn’t exist so f*** it im gone.
Hopefully my 2020 will be come so much better and so does the people around me. No more tears, no more mental breakdown, no more counselling, no more accepting, no more kind, no more sympathy. No more of those please.
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