Is being pretty or good looking the only way to be loved by people? Honestly looking at the society, I don’t think people go for personality anymore because even people who people consider “not good looking” still treats people like shit which is why when given a choice to be hurt by a good-looking person or otherwise, they’d choose good looking because it’s more worth it? It’s pretty obvious that you’ll be attracted to people with just a glance and that’s what makes you want to get to know the person you know, you’ll definitely want to take one step ahead because you find them attractive. Do people who are like “damn she/he is fun to be with like being with her/him makes me so damn happy” or “she’s so beautiful, like look at her, so goofy/funny” still exists?
Preference? Sure. But don’t be talking to one person and when you see their friends you immediately friendzone the person you were talking to who would give you so much and would literally fight the world for you man. I swear it sucks man. At this point I can’t even look at myself in the mirror and I’ll just look at myself and feel so damn helpless. I had to suck it all in because I don’t want to cry in front of the mirror crying for looking the way I am. Imagine having to watch my mum listen to me cry because of what I am and wanting to be dead. Hence this leads into a whole new problem where I can’t even talk about how insecure I am whenever I see someone way more beautiful.
It is really normal to feel insecure but have you ever felt the pain where you’re just having fun with your friends and people are just going to you asking for your friends’ Instagram usernames or even brushing the compliments for them on your face? Bro like yes people do find other people attractive and I don’t blame them for being able to pull so many people but I blame myself for looking the way I look. It’s no longer voices but a reality of the way that people are treating me. All of you be like “No you’re just overthinking”. Man, how about being in my situation where people just come to me to fucking fangirl bro what in the actual fuck? I swear it sucks so much that it bothers me a lot and it affects the way I treat people. I can’t even look at anyone in the eye anymore. I can’t even eat outside with people without having to hide every time I see someone looking at me. I’d even apologize to people for not looking the way they expected me to look or even try my best to convince someone to not be fooled by the “me” that is on my social media platforms.
I don’t use the filters to satisfy nor pull anyone into my DMs. I really do know I’m ugly and I’m using all these filters to convince myself that I am pretty. If you know me well, I really do not take in compliments from people but I love to compliment myself not as a form of confidence but as a self-protection. I know that people are complimenting just to boost up my confidence but sorry to say, actions speaks louder than words. I know it’s a lie and no, I’m not denying the fact. But it shows so much in your actions, the way you’re treating me. The way you’ll stay a distance from me when someone more good-looking walks by. It’s as if you’re not proud to have me in your life on in your company.
After all this and you still expect me to not wonder my existence in your life? I’m sorry that I’m not good-looking enough to be friends with or I just don’t deserve you. Maybe that is why I always get thrown off to the side.
khairiahblogz 