There are certain things that you can adore and ignore . There are certain things in life that you can do and certain things you can’t . Most of the things you might not be able to do are most probably because of time and fate . At the different point of time, our interest in something changes or even maybe you’re just fated to do it . Don’t get mad just because you are unable to do something you want and do not blame yourself for not having the capability or talent to do something.

I have a very extroverted personality . People find me very annoying, too loud, the joker, crazy because I tend to actually talk to random people and I tend to open up to people easily. I am that type of person who don’t really like the very quiet and awkward atomsphere and tend to change it to a cheerful one. With that, I totally hope to always make people smile and let people who are having a bad day not regret living. I love walking around the class and make sure most people are energised for the next lesson. I like to be very bubbly even before dance classes. Seniors most probably felt like slapping my face but because they’re very understanding people, the totally let that pass. But now, everything is just ruined .

My whole positive journey of life is just cut off like that. Due to my “effort” in dance sessions, I was very clumsy and was not cautious of my own safety that I injured my knee. I thought maybe it will only last a few days but it didn’t as it lasted longer than expected. It was true that my dancing life has ended. I was put on cast and was unable to come to school with such heavy cast on my left leg. I was so embarrassed of myself and was scared to be judged in school. There is a high possibility where people will start to call me names and a high possibility that I will have a mental break down in school. Even just me walking myself to the kitchen made me useless and hopeless. I felt so disabled when I see my friends and seniors dancing passionately. As they dance energeticly, I’m just there, sitting down, watching like an abandoned kid .

That one night, I cry my eyes out and kept asking why did I let my stupidity out like that. People say don’t say things that are negative . It does work for sometime but mostly it did not as it was hard to put my thoughts back together. The amount of time I needed to stitch back my torn feelings , to find back my missing dreams and to find a way out of this dark cave i’ve been living in is a total weight for me. I keep drowning myself into the deep sea filled with tears. I was so helpless because I was alone . I had no one else to ask for help because its between me and myself. The fear I hold to face all this is so big that I almost let my emotions swallow me.

Praises to Allah who have helped me get through this, I am finally strong enough to say that everything is in his hands. We plan, he decide. It’s after all not my fault but it’s a lesson I can learn from. Not everything you want can you receive . Unexpected things can come at the most unexpected time ever. Maybe he have seen the hardwork i’ve put in for everything and he puts me in such condition so that I can get enough rest . Everything can be planned but certain things can be expected and certain things are unexpected . ☘️

stay strong 🍃

Happiness ; the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.

Happiness is a skill we can all learn from and skill to practice for the rest of our lives. Wether you produce your happiness, pursuit your happiness, share your happiness or even provided with happiness, you can gain experiences and lesson to learn from for future challenges.

Many wished for happiness whenever it is taken away or lost due to your carelessness. In life, there is no such things as wishing when you do not put your own effort to achieve it. That is why many have said, “You want it, come get it.” Most probably most of you have heard it before but many use it for teasing purposes. When you were teased with this phrase, you tend to get annoyed and get mad about it. You keep telling the person to give your stuff back and try to reach out for it especially for people with short heights like me. They didn’t give it back unless you try to reach out for it. Once you get it, you feel relief.

Think about it and reflect about it. It goes same with what you’re facing in your personal life. You feel so bothered and mad whenever someone gets in your way or when your happiness was taken away. But if you just keep quiet and not do anything about it, your happiness will forever be taken away. If you want your happiness, fight for it and not wait for it to drop from the sky. Would you even want to wait for years till your happiness drop onto your hand and suffer sadness while waiting for happiness? Obviously no one wants to feel that way so the point of this is to tell you that happiness does not come easily and every single experience about getting happiness is all about effort and patience. If you are in a very tough and challenging situation, work yourself out of your sadness and get it so that you can live your life like who you are.

I have this guy friend who I am really close with  now. I appreciate all his effort to make sure I am always happy even though he may get on my nerves at times. We have been classmates for two years yet we only started knowing each other three months ago. At first, we did not noticed each other but as time goes by, we started our friendship. 

It all started when he was having problems with his girlfriend. He seemed really emotional with all his post on Instagram. I asked if he was okay with sharing his problems with me and so he did. Hearing his story just shows how nice he is as person or a guy. We talked till late night and even the next day after school. I have never talked to any guy as much as I talked to him and I didn’t knew why I was being that way. We were that close that we even talked to each other almost every day and shared our problems as if the world is never ending. 

Till one day, whenever I see him, my heart just fluttered and I just kept wondering why. I will always look for him even before the examination start even though it could just be a short period of time. I kept going back home with this thought in my head wondering why I always had butterflies in my stomach whenever he was near me. It was kind off weird because we both just started talking but the question about our ‘crushes’ kept coming in our conversation. We once talked and then he suddenly tried a pick up line on me and I literally blushed so much that my heart stopped for a moment. So that is where I realised i fell for him.  Days goes by, we finally talked about us and kind off cofness somehow? We sweet talked and he called me ‘sotong’ because of how blurry I get everytime we have a conversation. It was really sweet of how he complimented me and even gave me a high five before i enter the examination room. He was that cute that he can just really get mad when I didn’t give a high five in return whenever he raises his hand to me. 

The day after, we talked and ‘we’ didn’t worked out. I got really emotional and decided to shut everyone out. That was the only time I really fell for a guy that much but things didn’t work out. As much as it hurts, I need to understand him as a person and respect his decision. I felt really lonely at that point of time because I no longer receive any messages from him. We literally stopped talking or contacting. It was the examination period so I don’t want both our results to be affected so I texted him and told him to not get really affected by what was going on. 

After a few days when it happened, we finally becam closer. We talked and teased each other like bestfriends. Nothing was awkward because I treated him like my own brother. We continued to listen to each other rants and unstoppable naggings. He is now a close friend of me which was unbelievable as I wasn’t expecting the both of us to be that close now although I am no longer receiving any text from him everyday. It was really a teenage life situation but we managed to handle it maturely. The hurt was worth it as we are now like close friends whereby we teased and help each pther no matter whatever comes in our way. 

I would like to take this opportunity to thank him for being part of my life. I will never forget his good deeds towards me and I will never forget the advices you gave me. You maybe very annoying at time but seriously you’re cool man and I cherish our friendship a lot. Two more years with you will be fun and I hope we will be closer in the future. Thank you for everything you have done for me ! 

• sincerely, the sotong.

Every day, we meet new people. Our lives goes by chapter and in the end it will all become the book of memories. With appreciation, I would like to thank those who were there for me, those who would let their ears bleed to hear my rants, those who sat by me, making sure I won’t ever let a tear out again. 

Throwback to the first day of my secondary one year, where i met many people that i didn’t knew I would be close to. Most of them are really weird people that I don’t even know why am I even friends with them. They do have similar and weird personalities like I do. When it first started, I was really scared of people not accepting the silly me. Primary school teached me lots of stuff and I tried my best improvising the old me. We were all of different heights, size, looks, taste and thoughts. The laughters they let out are of different volumes amd the smiles they have were really sweet. They were one of the reasons why I came to school with big smiles and ended the day with muscle cramps in my stomach.

There was once we had a really big disagreement and misunderstanding. I couldn’t bare seeing us separated. I was so used to having all of them right by my side, having all their lame jokes running through the atomsphere. Each of us have many different thoughts and opinions that all of us couldn’t take in consideration or even agree to it. Recess was way more boring than ever as we seated at different tables, further than we used to. Walking back to class with just this heavy thought is really uncomfortable for both me and my friend. 

On  that night, we talked things out. The starting went out harshly as we were unable to control our anger. The tsunami of tears I held back just burst out without hesitation. We confessed and finally started to accept one another’s thoughts and opinions. It wasn’t easy for all of us. I was really dissapointed with all of us as it was just a minor problem but the way we handled them was immature. That weren’t the people I met on the first day of school. We then started accepting and apologising. 

The next day, before school assembly, we gathered at the canteen. We approached each other and hugged. It was weird for all of us to hug each other but it just shows how much we missed being together to the extend where we just forget about the awkwardness we had with one another. The smiles I see now were even brighter, laughters were even louder and we were inseparable. Maybe for a short time but no longer than twenty minutes.

From that day onwards, we were able to get to know each other even more and learned how to maturely sort things out like a better teenager. It wasn’t hard to sort things out unless we hear everyone’s thoughts in order for no misunderstanding to occur. It was easy to forgive but hard to forget. It was left as a memory and a lesson for us to learn. Though they all have their dark sides like I do, they teached me a lot and we managed to accept one another. They helped me got through my fear which was to make friends or having the fear that people won’t accept me for who I am.

I would like to thank you (you know who you are) for being there for me when I am having a rough time and thank you for teaching me a lesson that I can apply in the future. Hope we will all be even stronger together and blessed with many more memories. Love you all ❤️